God's Gift to Women?

A couple of weeks ago our ward had a temple trip. It was a beautiful spring day and I was grateful of the chance to spend it on the temple grounds. After coming out of the temple, it was time for our picnic. I was walking over to say hello to some of our friends when a young man stopped me. I thought he was perhaps a friend or relative of someone in the ward so I said hello. I guess in retrospect I shouldn’t have. I realized quite quickly that he wasn’t from around here. His English was not very good, so I’ll only really be able to give the gist of what he said. He asked in very broken English where I was from. He then told me he was from Slovakia (I think. Could have been Slovenia. Something along those lines.) He then asked me if I was a YSA. At this point, I was not entirely sure how to get away. I could tell things were going down a path that I didn’t want them to, but felt powerless to stop them. When I answered that I was indeed young, single, and adult, he said he was too. Then things really took a turn for the uncomfortable. He asked me if I would like to date him. Not just go on A date, but actually date each other, with the intent of marriage. I was so taken aback by his boldness, that I didn’t know exactly what to say. He then said, “Only if you’re comfortable.” As if I could be comfortable with that proposition. I decided that the easiest thing to do was pretend I was okay with it and then just give him the wrong information. I guess I should have just said that I was uncomfortable with the idea, but that made me uncomfortable too. I did draw the line at actually giving him my phone number. I gave him my email address and suggested that maybe we could just get to know each other a bit better that way. Then he gave me his name as Elder. I can only imagine that he considered his returned missionary status as enough to make him the dream come true for any available woman. It wasn’t enough for me, however. After we had exchanged email addresses, he left. It was quick as that, but left me quite perplexed. I had never been approached with such boldness. It was flattering, but a little discomforting. Luckily, nothing else has come of it and I think I’ve escaped the awkwardness of actually having to reject the date. I’m pretty sure I dodged a bullet there.

Te Quiero

Oh man, I just can’t resist any longer. After yesterday, I’m just going to have to tell you all about this guy, El Guapo. He is yummy. He’s sort of more ruggedly handsome and there’s a little something twinkling in his eye that makes him quite attractive. I first noticed him almost a year ago when he started coming to Institute. The first week, he had on a bright yellow polo shirt with the collar popped. So hoooot. I had no idea who he was and it took me a couple of weeks to find out. Imagine my dismay when I discovered that the reason I hadn’t seen him around before was because he was on his mission in Spain. Yep, he’s a mere babe. That’s part of why I’ve tried to ignore my attraction to him. But I just can’t help it. I am finally admitting that I have a crush on him. This comes after he spoke in our ward a couple of weeks ago and it was really good, and he looked really hot, and I caught him looking at me a couple of times. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Here’s a little backstory.

He seemed cocky and a bit full of himself at first so naturally, I was attracted, since I’m unaccountably a sucker for that sort of behavior. He came to things, but rarely talked to anyone. He would make the rare comment in Institute, but none of my friends seemed to be friends with him, so I had no way of getting in there. Then on the fateful Guy Fawkes Night at Maverick’s house where I first met the other stupid American girl, I got my first chance to really see El Guapo in his element. When we arrived in Oxford, some of us wanted to get something to eat. I thought we were just going to pop to a shop and grab some snacks, but we ended up at a kebab shop. I was perfectly fine with it since it gave me some one on one time with him. He was hilarious. He has this little smirk on his face most of the time and his delivery is sharp. He doesn’t say much, but when he does, it’s worth the wait. Needless to say, I enjoyed dinner very much. When we finished eating, I discovered that besides being witty, he’s also a gentleman. He paid for my meal and earned himself some huge brownie points. After dinner we went back to Maverick’s house and I was officially smitten. That was clear back in November, but it was the first time I really started to think perhaps there was something there.

Anyway, since then we’ve been casual friends and said our occasional hello at activities and such, but I’ve had a hard time figuring out ways to hang out outside of Church stuff. I’ve sort of tried to convince myself that he’s too young, not clever enough, too much of a lad, and so on and so on. It’s also partly that I’m shy around him. I find him so attractive that I can hardly flirt with him. I know it’s silly, but somehow I find it easier to be flirty with boys that I don’t actually like. And I think El Guapo is ‘too cool’ for me so it makes me feel a little intimidated. I think though, that he is actually more shy than he is ‘cool.’ He doesn’t talk to anyone, really, so it’s not just me. And while he doesn’t say much, when he does speak, he usually has something good to say. I’ve been impressed a lot of the comments he makes at Institute and as I’ve gotten to know him better, I’ve realized that he is clever and he does have a good testimony. So now, I have to like him even more.

I saw him at Institute last night and I said hello. He seemed keen to continue the conversation so we chatted a bit. Then I needed to say hello to someone and had to squeeze past him. I made sure to leave my hand on his shoulder as I walked by. Then I of course I had to do it again on the way back. I think it was a good decision because when he left, he made sure to say goodbye. Though I’m still a little unsure of how to get more time with him, I think the effort I’ve put in is beginning to pay off.

Still Waiting for Mr. Right

I know it’s been a while since I’ve been on a date and maybe things have changed since then, but last I checked a person isn’t supposed to abandon their date for the balance of the evening. If that’s how things are trending these days, then maybe I’m not so sad that I don’t date much. By way of explanation, last Tuesday one of my friends, G.I. Joe, texted me to see if I was working. I wasn’t and he informed me that he wasn’t either and asked if I wanted to join him on an adventure to Portsmouth. As I wasn’t otherwise occupied, I agreed. He told me that he had some things to do in Portsmouth and we’d get home around 11. I figured we’d be getting dinner and wandering around town. It took us about two hours to get there and we had a comfortable conversation on the way there. We went to the base in Portsmouth so G.I. Joe could get his combat medals mounted. We had to go get me a visitor’s pass and the army guy in charge was hoooot. Since we weren’t going to be there long, he just let us go. I would have happily stayed there with him, but oh well. After that, G.I. Joe decided we should go to the waterfront, so we drove down to the ‘beach’ for a ‘picnic.’ Since it was windy and drizzly, we sat in the car and G.I. Joe made me a wrap of sorts. It consisted of a tortilla with some guacamole and slices of Edam cheese. It was not good, but I ate it like a good little girl. After ‘dinner,’ we got out of the car and walked along the beach that was made up of rather large rocks, which was fine with me because it prevented any sand from getting in my shoes. We walked far enough that we came across a little restaurant. G.I. Joe asked if I wanted to grab a hot chocolate and I figured it was the least he could do after the disgusting dinner he’d made. So we went in and they sat us at a table overlooking the sea. It was lovely. We each ordered a hot chocolate and then he said I could get something else if I wanted. I wasn’t entirely sure what the protocol was so I followed his lead and got an ice cream sundae. The hot chocolate was huge and the ice cream wasn’t that good.

At this point the adventure took a strange turn. G.I. Joe had to go to some sort of Army training thing. He hadn’t mentioned to me before we left that I wouldn’t be allowed to join him. So I volunteered to just hang out at a shopping center we had passed earlier. It had a cinema so I thought maybe I’d just go watch a film. G.I. Joe told me he’d be done around 8, though, so since he dropped me off at about 6:45, I decided I didn’t have time to watch a whole film. I walked around the shops until they closed and then went to the cinema to pretend that I was waiting for someone, which I guess I was. After sitting there for about half an hour, I decided to go walk around outside a little more so I didn’t look too pathetic. I even bought myself some fries at Burger King to pass the time. Totally, not worth the calories. At around 8, I texted G.I. Joe to let him know that I had decided against seeing a film and was ready when he was. I didn’t hear back from him until about 8:30 at which point he told me he was running late and would be leaving soon. I went back into the cinema where there was at least somewhere to sit while I waited. I’m pretty sure the employees felt sorry for me for getting stood up. Well, 9 o’clock came and went without a sign of G.I. Joe and I was beginning to regret my decision not to see a film. Luckily, there were trailers playing on a big screen on the wall, though after seeing them all ten times, the thrill diminished. Finally at 9:30, G.I. Joe called to say he’d be there in ten minutes. Perhaps needless to say, after waiting an additional hour and a half, that was music to my ears. The ride home was enjoyable and I do enjoy his company, though if he ever invites me to anything again, I’m taking a book.

It's a Small World After All

I went to Cardiff last weekend for a Young Single Adult Convention, really just a glorified youth conference for old people. My super good friend Jess lives there and she was in charge, so I decided this was as good a time as any to see what all the fuss was about. As you might imagine, there were guys galore and girls trying to impress them with their stupidity and general vacuousness. I met one who I would say wins, but I digress. The first night, there was a dance. It was not just any dance, it was a UV dance. We dressed in white and painted our faces with paint that glowed in the black light. I know! So exciting! There was lots of meeting new people and such. At one point, I was chatting with a kid I’d met before when one of his friends came over. When I saw him, I thought he was pretty cute. Then he started talking and his accent gave him away as a Scotsman. He said in a pretty creepy way, “I know you.” I was pretty sure he didn’t, seeing as he’s Scottish and I’m American. He tried to convince me that he had met me somewhere and I continued to protest that it was impossible. As the conversation proceeded, he asked me if I’d ever been to France. I, of course, said yes and then a look came over him. He then asked me if I’d been to Church in a certain ward in Paris in April and if I’d gone back to a certain member’s house for dinner. I said yes and then the Scotsman got embarrassed and made some excuse and left. The dance continued and then I ended up seeing him again at the end. If I’m honest, I wanted to flirt with him a bit, so I decided to ask him what he knew about what happened at that particular member’s home after dinner. He was embarrassed again and said that there were ‘reports.’ I played coy and pretended not to know what he was talking about. He said, when he and his companion arrived at said member’s house later that evening, the little brother ran out and said that his brother had “made out with the American girl.” He also told me he couldn’t actually believe that it had happened. I assured him that it had indeed happened, despite the Cheetah’s general sliminess. I felt slightly ashamed of my actions, but was able to justify myself by mentioning the fact that it was my birthday and I was in Paris. He accepted my excuse and I felt completely vindicated when I saw him sneak out of a room the next night with some random girl and a pretty guilty look on his face. Guess the world of the Church is a bit too small for me. From here on out, I’m sticking to non-members.

If only...

Okay, I know I’ve been shirking my duties of late. Things have been busy, but that’s not really a good excuse for missing out some great stories. First of all, I meant to write about this long ago. It was one of those moments I wish I could have back, mostly because I wish I could have done things differently. I always think of what I should have done after the fact, but next time I’ll do better. Anyway, here’s the story. When I went home at the end of September, I had to be to the airport pretty early in the morning. Luckily, though, I had taken the time to curl my hair, because, as everyone is aware, you just never know. I was also wearing my hot, green cardigan that makes my eyes look amazing. Well, when I got to the airport, there was a super long line and I was hoping it wasn’t the line I needed. I decided to ask and it just so happened that the last person in line was a super cute British guy listening to his i-Pod. He told me it was indeed the check-in line for Delta. Then he did something truly amazing. He put his i-Pod away. I know. That, my friends, is the sign of true interest. Once we started conversing, I discovered that he was not only handsome, but also funny, smart, and thoughtful. He had studied in Boston and actually even enjoyed American football. He was a dream come true. While I had originally been upset that the line had been so long, as we continued to chat, I was grateful for it. I began to wish that the line was even longer. He told me about how much he liked America and how lived in London now. As we got closer to the front of the line, one of the workers asked us if we were together. I wanted to say ‘yes’ but held it together. I wanted so much to give him my number, but was just waiting for the chance to say something clever that would convince him to ask for it himself. Unfortunately, just at that moment, the Delta officials asked for anyone going to New York. Even more unfortunately, cute British guy was going to New York. That meant that he was taken to the front of the line before we had a chance to finish our conversation, which I’m sure would have ended with him getting my number. And it meant that I lost my chance to ever see him again.

Highway to the Danger Zone?

So, there’s this guy. I’ve been meaning to write about him for ages, but am somehow just getting around to it. So here’s the story. Every fall with the cooling of the air comes the heating up of the anticipation of new guys moving in. This year was no different, except that this time my anticipation was rewarded with Maverick, a tall, handsome, Air Force Academy graduate who has come to Oxford to study for his Master’s degree. He is spectacular. I met him at Institute one day and was immediately smitten. I heard him say one thing in his American accent and set my sights on him. I chatted with him for a few minutes after institute and got to see up close just how attractive he is. He’s got perfectly white teeth, and lovely strong arms. I didn’t see him again until he came to one of the Reading dances. He was terribly awkward, but so handsome that I was able to overlook his lack of dancing skill. We had the chance to chat outside in the foyer for a few minutes and found him to be interesting as well as handsome. He’s getting his Master’s in African studies and is just plain fantastic. After that night, the full on obsession began. I found him on facebook and looked through all of his pictures. We even googled him and found out some pretty interesting things about him. He graduated number one in his class and got a scholarship to study at Oxford. So besides being extremely good looking, he’s also very clever. To add to the attraction is the fact that even though he has every reason to be cocky, he’s very humble.

Well, the plans then revolved around how to see him again. They started holding Institute in Oxford so he and the other Oxford-ians have stopped coming to our class, which meant that Maverick sightings diminished. So the deception began. Luckily I do have friends in Oxford so I was able to finagle a few outings to Oxford. Unfortunately, they didn’t always go that well. I was quite disappointed in our first adventure there. We went up for Guy Fawkes Day, which is just an excuse to burn things and shoot off fireworks. When we got to Maverick’s house it was pouring rain so the fireworks things wasn’t particularly interesting. Also, there was this girl there. She almost immediately made it clear that we were not to get any ideas about Maverick. It was apparent that she had made a claim and was not entirely pleased with other girls being there. She monopolized every conversation with her not-so-subtle attempts to make herself look fantastic. I immediately disliked her and her transparent friendliness. I was sure that Maverick wouldn’t fall to her womanly charms so I maintained hope.

The plan that followed was to have our Oxford friends over dinner, excluding ‘the other girl.’ The plan went great except that none of the guys we invited came. We ended up having a really lovely time and some interesting details were revealed. The other girl’s roommate was one of our dinner guests and gave me a little insight into how things were going up there. She informed me that I should perhaps take my sights off Maverick. She said Maverick and the other girl spent a lot of time together, at night, at his apartment. I was shocked. I thought everyone else was similarly disgusted by her, so imagine my surprise when I found out that the other girl and Maverick were snogging. I know! How horrible!?!?! I immediately lost a little respect for him. How could he not see that she was vacuous, insecure, and fake like the rest of us did? Anyway, I decided to concede Maverick to her. If that was the kind of girl he was interested in, then he clearly would never give me a second look. So I pretty much gave up on him. Of course I still talked to him when I got the chance, but I decided he wasn’t worth my time.

I ended up spending Thanksgiving up there and learned a lot more about Maverick and the other girl’s relationship. Apparently their relationship consisted of snogging only and not actual dating. As much as the other girl wanted them to be boyfriend and girlfriend, Maverick wasn’t into it. I actually felt a little bit sorry for her, having been the delusional girl who thinks that a kiss is equivalent to interest. I also realized that maybe Maverick did realize that she was vacuous and fake, but couldn’t resist the prospect of a pretty girl who was willing to snog. Having also been that person, I decided to cut him a break. We’ve all been there. Sometime you just have to snog a bit. Well, since I’ve been back from Christmas, one of my friends from Oxford told me to get in there. She informed me that Maverick is ‘single.’ Since they were never actually dating, I don’t know how they could break up, but I’ll take it. Anyway, she told me that Maverick is trying to spend less time with the other girl, as he has realized that she’s not for him. I still haven’t decided where this leaves me, but I’d probably snog him, so we'll see what happens.

What Might Have Been

It is with heavy heart that I report that Prince William has chosen someone else. Unfortunately I never actually met him. I'm sure if I had, he would have picked me. I hung around Windsor Castle all the time on the off chance that he'd be there visiting Granny Liz and happen to notice me casually strolling the grounds or leaning seductively against a wall or something, but to no avail. I just feel bad for the British public. They would have loved me. Oh well, there's always the ginger Harry.