Good Things Come to Those who Wait

My patience has been rewarded.  I got kissed 4 times.  Who knew all it would take was some carefully placed mistletoe?  Last Saturday, my friends decided to take a little trip to Bath where they have a Christmas market in the streets around the abbey.  When we arrived, there was a homeless guy selling bunches of mistletoe.  I joked that I should buy some and my friends encouraged me enough that I couldn’t resist.  We all know I’m a bit of an exhibitionist, so this shouldn’t come as much of a surprise.  Anyway I gave him 60 pence and in return was given more than enough mistletoe to do the trick.  Jokingly, I then said something about wishing there was a way for me to clip a bit to the front of my coat hood.  Well, shockingly, at that point a hair pin was proffered and the mistletoe affixed to the appropriate spot.  That’s when the fun began.  Now, in my defense, I’ve been around plenty of mistletoe in my day and have never reaped the rewards of it, so I thought this would be the same thing.  I figured we all have a laugh and maybe a few other people would find it amusing and no harm would be done.  Well, I was wrong.  If there’s one thing I’ve learned about the English, it’s that they take their traditions seriously, even if that means kissing people in whom you have no interest or having a Queen who really doesn’t do much.  Mere moments after the mistletoe was put into action, I saw one of my friends coming at me with lips pursed.  Before I had time to react, his lips were attached to my cheek.  Then we had the brilliant idea to take a picture of the moment, which meant that he had to leave those lips firmly planted for quite some time.  I am pleased to report that the picture turned out very well.  We then met up with a few other friends and the mistletoe magic was repeated, luckily I was better prepared this time.  When I saw the face approaching mine I offered a cheek and everyone was happy.  We wandered around the market for a while and plenty of comments were made, but no other kisses were given until we were in the car park getting ready to leave.  The couple ahead of us had finished paying when the man turned to me and said, “Tempting fate, eh?” to which I jokingly responded, “And hopefully people.”  He apparently thought I was serious because he said, “Well let me be the first then,” and proceeded to plant one on my cheek.  At this point I realized that this mistletoe business could get me into serious trouble.  I resolved to wear it every day.  The final mistletoe escapade of the day came that night at the ward Christmas party.  I was getting ready to leave and was showing my clever invention to one of the old married guys in the ward with whom we’ve all gotten to be friends.  Again I was not prepared for the consequences of my mistletoe decision.  I was powerless to avoid another wet kiss on the cheek.  When I got home that night, I decided that I will never again be afraid to kiss someone under the mistletoe.  I can just tell them it’s a tradition I picked up in England, among other things…