The Next Installment

Well, there is good news and bad. Jasper has continued to drive me insane. After the shenanigans of last week, and in discussing the situation with many, many friends, I made the decision that I couldn’t continue to live this way. I determined to cut him off. I’ve concluded that I will explain to him why we can’t continue the way things have been going, but am going to wait until I’m done with the dissertation, so as to avoid unnecessary distraction and preoccupation. As a stop-gap measure, I didn’t respond to his texts or attempts to chat on facebook for three whole days. Then on Thursday, I decided to chat with him for a few minutes on facebook. In the course of the conversation, he said that his feelings were hurt since I hadn’t talked to him for so long. I blamed my avoidance on the dissertation writing, but it was really just to make him mad. There was a bit of satisfaction in knowing that I had succeeded in creating some sort of anxiety. I foolishly thought that I could allow him to chat with me again on Friday without any negative consequences. I was wrong. Here is a transcript of the conversation.

Jasper: So I haven’t seen you in ages!

Me: 5 days! New record. J

Jasper: it’s terrible…if feel so empty

Me: hahaha, what to do, what to do

Jasper: don’t know...probably just make out with you and get it over and done with and then move on... (yep, he actually said that)

Me: that’s one idea…

Jasper: any others?

Me: no, just didn’t know what to say

Jasper: haha, I do that a lot to you, huh?

Me: yep

Jasper: it’s because our mutual carnal desires ;)

Me: could be

Jasper: :p

Me: what are you sticking your tongue out at me for?

Jasper: hoping you will get the idea and meet it with yours. ;)

Me: you wish

Jasper: you’re right there

Me: again, I’m stuck (mostly I was just shocked at his brazenness)

So, there you go. I just don’t know. Nearly every time I chat with him, he says something totally inappropriate that makes me wonder what he’s thinking. He’s insane. How can he possibly think that I would actually take him at this point? The unfortunate problem is that I actually do have ‘carnal desire’ for him. Part of me does think it might be better to just kiss him and get it over with and clear the sexual tension. The other problem is that I have prided myself on not being ‘that girl’ who kisses boys who have girlfriends. So that’s the pickle I’m in. One thing is for certain; I will no longer cuddle with him, either on my couch or bed. That’s where things began to go bad. I should have stopped him the first time, but gosh darn it, he smelled so good. Anyway, I will keep you posted as to the results of the important discussion that will be coming sometime next week.

In happier news, I met someone new who is nice. I went to a friend’s wedding a few weeks ago and ended up seated next to a cute guy at the luncheon whom we’ll call FOG (friend of groom). I had seen him come in and thought he was good looking and determined to meet him. As chance would have it, we ended up next to each other and chatted all through the luncheon. He was a bit shy and I had to do the actual initiation of the conversation. In the course of the discussion I found out that he just finished his undergraduate degree in economics and is starting his Master’s this autumn. So, he’s a clever one. He served his mission French speaking in Montreal. So, he likes France. He has dark hair and dark eyes. So, he isn’t as strange looking as some of the English guys I’ve met. All of these are good things. Did I mention he’s nice and doesn’t have another girlfriend?

After lunch, I got distracted and then it was time to leave, so I didn’t chat with him again. In retrospect it was probably good, but I was a little sad that I hadn’t given him a bit more encouragement to stay in touch. Well, imagine my surprise when I checked facebook on Monday and FOG had requested my friendship. I was quite pleased. He had sought me out. Truth be told, I had tried to find him, but couldn’t figure him out from the pictures. Well, I figured I had nothing to lose so I posted something on his wall and thus began my facebook flirting campaign. We went back and forth every day or so. I of course, made sure that each of my posts had a question in it so he’d have to respond and he followed in kind. I also made it clear that I would like to see him again sometime. He said he’d probably be down this way again sometime, so we’ll see what happens. Even if nothing comes of it, it was really nice to have something new and exciting. After trading wall posts for a week or so, I decided it was time to take things up a notch and sent him an actual message. He answered back that he’d be going to France on holiday for a while. I responded that I was jealous and asked about where he was going and so on. Well, he didn’t respond for a long time, and I figured he wasn’t going to. I shouldn’t have given up so easily. He must have just been in France longer than I’d thought. So, that’s my story. I’m hoping to figure out a way to ‘bump’ into him somewhere again. I’ve enlisted the friends at whose wedding we met, and they said they’d do what they could. I’ll keep you posted.